My Little Panda

I must have reasoning so much all this time. Saying a lot of things to justify what I did and what I didn’t do. Not that it all wrong. But before I even started to think about all those, I was too in a situation where I was so lost about what to do.

Do you know that story about best friend who loves each other but keeps their feeling to themselves and one of them only realize it when the other died, through the diary read at her funeral? It’s a beautiful sad story. I couldn’t imagine how he felt at that moment and what kind of regret he had. I never wanna have that kind of regret.

But it didn’t make sense for me. What kind of person would keep their feeling to themselves when they’re in love? That time I thought to myself, if I’m in love I will surely tell the other person about how I feel. I will even let the world know about it. I’d be so proud that I wouldn’t want to hide it. But now.. Turns out that I’m just another fool.

But do you know? I’m not the kind of person who would just give up to what I feel. When I really want something, I will do all my might to make it reality. I won’t let my shyness get in the way of me achieving my dream. But then.. reality started to hit me. Even if I can overcome my shyness, then what?

I could just keep it simple, overcome my shyness, tell you how I feel and got rejected. But what if you’re just as crazy as I am? At first, I thought, I was afraid that if I let you know then it turns out that you don’t like it, things will never be the same anymore. But then I realize that I was much more afraid if you actually like it. I mean, what would I do? I have nothing to offer you. Well, it’s not just about money, it’s about good life and protection. Who doesn’t want to give their best for the one they love? I’ve never been that afraid in my life before.

I really want you to be happy. It worries me if you don’t. And I mean every single word I say. I don’t even understand why I feel this way.

I always deadly wanna know, what kind of life you want to live. If it should never include me, even if you like me, I will help you get your sense together again. I will never try to keep someone by my side just to make them miserable.

This makes me think of one of your post. I wonder what would happen if your kind of person and my kind of person fall in love with each other. It will be a disaster. I mean, it seems like it will be close to impossible for two people who care too much for each other to be together. Because one of them will think, “I don’t want you if you don’t want to be there”, while the other will think, “I’ll always be here for you but if you don’t want me then that’s okay”. If it continues, the only thing that left in the end is regret. There’s only one way to clear the misunderstanding. Didn’t our ancestor created words so that we can communicate with each other? The question is, who’s gonna make the first move? Who’s the one willing to risk their “seems-like-a-good” relation? Who’s the first to stop their “saying I want you makes me a bad person” mindset? Is such thing exist? It’s too complicated and surely too good to be true.

Libra, the sign of balance. I really don’t want to mess up with your equilibrium. Maybe I’m just too shy… and I don’t know why.

[one_half]

Manyageh naega gandamyeon
Naega dagagandamyeon
Neon eoddeogeh saenggakhalgga
Yonginaelsu eobtgo

Manyageh niga gandamyeon
Niga ddeonagandamyeon
Neol eoddeogeh bonaeyahalji
Jaggoo geobi naneun geol

Naega babo gataseo
Barabolsu bakkeman eobtneungeon amado
Wemyeon haljidomoreul ni maeumgwa
Ddo keuraeseo deo mareojil saiga dwelggabwa

Jeongmal babo gataseo
Saranghanda haji mothaneungeon amado
Mannam dwiyeh gidarineun apeumeh
Seulpeun nanaldeuri dooryeowoseo ingabwa

Manyageh niga ondamyeon
Niga dagaondamyeon
Nan eoddeogeh haeyamanhalji
Jeongmal alsu eobtneungeol

Naega babo gataseo
Barabolsu bakkeman eobtneungeon amado
Wemyeon haljidomoreul ni maeumgwa
Ddo keuraeseo deo mareojil saiga dwelggabwa

Jeongmal babo gataseo
Saranghanda haji mothaneungeon amado
Mannam dwiyeh gidarineun apeumeh
Seulpeun nanaldeuri dooryeowoseo ingabwa

Naega babo gataseo
Saranghanda haji mothaneungeon amado
Mannam dwiyeh gidarineun apeumeh
Seulpeun nanaldeuri dooryeowoseo ingabwa

[/one_half]

[one_half_last]

If I go
If I go closer to you
I wonder what you may think,
I can’t drum up the courage

If you go
If you go away from me
It is scary to figure out
how to let you go

Perhaps, the reason
I only look at you, like a fool,
is for fear that you may turn your face away
and you and I may drift further apart

Perhaps, the reason
I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,
is that I am afraid
of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.

If you come
If you come closer to me
I really don’t know what to do

Perhaps, the reason
I only look at you, like a fool,
is for fear that you may turn your face away
and you and I may drift further apart

Perhaps, the reason
I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,
is that I am afraid
of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.

Perhaps, the reason
I can’t say ‘I love you’, like a fool,
is that I am afraid
of the painful sad days of waiting after we meet.

[/one_half_last]